Difficulties in relationships

Relationships can be the place you most want to feel safe – and the place where pain shows up fastest. You might be stuck in repeating arguments, walking on eggshells, feeling unheard, or struggling to rebuild trust after something has gone wrong. Misunderstandings, jealousy, mismatched needs for closeness or intimacy, people-pleasing, or avoiding hard conversations can slowly chip away at connection. Big life changes – moving, becoming a parent, job shifts, illness or loss – can also strain even strong bonds as roles and routines are turned upside down.

I’m a qualified and accredited therapist with over 15 years’ clinical experience in NHS Talking Therapies services and private practice, specialising in high-intensity CBT and Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) for relationship difficulties, anxiety, depression and life changes.

With a warm, non-judgemental approach, I’ll work with you to spot the patterns that trap you – what gets triggered, how communication derails, and what helps you feel safer and more understood. We’ll practise clearer ways to express needs and boundaries, reduce unhelpful cycles (like blame, mind-reading, defensiveness or withdrawal), and create small, steady changes that can rebuild trust, closeness and a sense of teamwork in your relationships.

Why you might be here

You might recognise yourself in some of these:

The same argument seems to happen again and again, even when the topic changes.
You feel you have to keep the peace or people-please, even when you’re hurting.
You walk on eggshells, scared of saying the “wrong” thing.
You feel invisible, unheard or taken for granted in an important relationship.
Jealousy, insecurity or fear of abandonment are putting pressure on you or your partner.
You avoid difficult conversations until things boil over or you shut down.
A big change (moving, illness, becoming a parent, a job shift, bereavement) has unsettled even previously steady relationships.
You’ve been through betrayal or a rupture and don’t know how to trust again.
You’ve noticed similar patterns repeating across different relationships over time.

You don’t have to be in a crisis or on the edge of a break-up for this page to be for you. Sometimes it’s about quietly realising, “It can’t carry on like this.”

How I help with relationship difficulties

I usually work one-to-one, focusing on you and the relationships that matter most to you. Together we’ll:

Make sense of patterns between you and others

We’ll gently map out what tends to happen in tense moments—what gets triggered, what you do to protect yourself, and how the other person often responds. This isn’t about blame; it’s about understanding the dance you’re both caught in.

Understand what you need from close relationships

We’ll look at your needs for closeness, space, reassurance and independence, and how these show up in day-to-day life. This can bring relief in itself: “No wonder I feel like this.”

Work on communication that feels safer and clearer

I’ll help you find words for feelings and needs that don’t come out as attack, shutdown or hints. We might practise specific phrases, or plan how to approach a particular conversation.

Gently change unhelpful cycles

Using small, achievable steps, we’ll experiment with doing something slightly different in familiar situations—for example, pausing before reacting, stating your limit calmly, or asking a direct question instead of mind-reading.

Strengthen boundaries and self-respect

We’ll clarify what’s okay and not okay for you, and how to hold that line in a way that fits your values. This can include saying “no”, stepping back from drama, or reducing contact where needed.

Support you through relationship changes or endings

If a relationship has shifted or ended, we’ll make space for grief, anger and confusion while helping you keep up the basics of daily life and rebuild support around you.

My aim is to help things feel a little less overwhelming, give you tools you can actually use, and support you to move towards relationships that feel safer and more honest.

What sessions can look like

Free 30-minute consultation

A chance to outline what’s been happening, ask questions, and see if working together feels like a good fit.

Early sessions

We’ll get a clearer picture of your key relationships, the situations that are most painful, and what you’d like to be different. We’ll draw a simple “map” of the cycle you get stuck in and start identifying small, realistic changes.

Ongoing work

Practising new ways of communicating—both what you say and how you listen.
Exploring the beliefs you hold about yourself in relationships (for example, “I’m too much”, “I’ll be left”, “My needs don’t matter”) and gently testing out more balanced alternatives.
Planning and debriefing real-life conversations.
Supporting you to take care of yourself emotionally around difficult interactions.

Reviewing progress

We’ll regularly check what’s shifting and what still feels stuck, and adjust the focus so the work stays useful and relevant.

Ways your relationships can start to feel a little easier

Over time, people often notice:

Less walking on eggshells, and more honest, calmer conversations.
Clearer, kinder boundaries—more room for both your needs and the other person’s.
Feeling more able to say what you mean, without everything turning into a row.
A stronger sense of who is genuinely in your corner, and how to lean on them.
More understanding of why you react how you do, and a bit more choice in those moments.
Greater confidence that, whatever happens in a particular relationship, you have ways to look after yourself.

Change is usually gradual rather than dramatic—but small, consistent shifts can make a real difference to how connected and supported you feel.

Ready to talk?

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re welcome to get in touch.

You don’t have to have it all figured out before you start. We can think it through together and decide on the next small steps that feel right for you.

Working Together

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